2.09.2010

Are you sure you want reset your settings?

Internet, isn't there just a reset button for housework and junk? Like "reset to original factory settings"? I mean, the laundry has taken over the upstairs hallway, no matter how much I try to keep it contained. It's as if we add to it each day....*sigh* and I wash it and fold it and put it away. Next thing I know, it's in The Pile again! What the crap? And the paper stacks? Let's not even go there. I'll just say that there's a pile about 6 inches tall that keeps growing like BAM during a spurt. I'm not saying all this to get sympathy. I'm just feeling overwhelmed by life.
I started a new position at New Hospital. I'm now in the progressive care unit, A.K.A. PCU, A.K.A. 3CCA. I like it, but, Internet, I'm still on orientation, so my schedule has been made for me. I just finished working 4 out of the past 5 days (12 hour shifts, but end up being 13 hours or longer from the time I leave to the time I get home). There's a reason I pick my own schedule and pace myself. Lots of nurses work all their days in a row to get more days off, but I can't do that. I have vivid dreams between the days I work (if I work consecutive days), so I don't sleep well. I don't get any housework done, I barely eat dinner and get BAM's things ready for the next day before I pass out. It doesn't help that BAM's nights are so inconsistent that even if we're all in bed by 9:30 or 10, there's no guarantee that I'll get a full 8 hours of sleep.
I look at my friends that stay at home with their kids, and can't help but envy them, bloggy world. I know it's wrong. I know the other job is always cushier. But I'm missing so much. I'm ready for another baby, but I don't want to have to leave that one, too. Plus, paying for another baby's daycare would take another big chunk out of my paycheck. I guess a little extra is better than nothing, but know what would be nice? If I could swap child care for child care. Like I'd watch a friend's kid or kids on the days she works, and she'd watch mine on my work days. But it'd only work if we could both work a few days the week. Don't get me wrong, internet, I like the set-up I have going now. Christina is unbelievably amazing and helpful. BAM is doing well. He and BEE are playmates and from the pictures, get along well.
On the other hand, I am thankful I have a job that pays well, gives me hours, and comes with really good health insurance. I need to be content, but every once in a while, I need to let out some steam. *whooooosh*
I'm good. Come back later to read about our snow storm!

No comments:

Post a Comment