Most Important News

At work yesterday, the 6 pm news came on. I forget what channel, but I was in Long-Term Trach Guy's room doing something. Anyway, the 6 pm news came on, and the first two stories were studies that had been done and needed to be reported. The first one was that binge-drinking may lead to a increased risk if alcohol dependence. Seriously?? Did you know that? I had no clue!! The seldom story was almost as mind blowing as the first. Ready? People may feel more inclined to loose weight if there's a payout involved. ERMAGERD!! (Haha, I've always been wanting to use that!) There you go. Prime-time news stories. Tell me a few things. First, who got paid to research that? Second, who decided "wow, this is super important stuff, let's put it at 6 pm so everyone will notice it!" And third, did the reporter laugh and snort when she saw the "headlines" she had to report and be excited about? That would have been hard to do.
"Ok, let new what stories I have tonight. I will be excited about them! Hmm, ok. What's this? Binge-drinking may increase the risk for alcohol depen-what?? I have to say this? Can't I report something exciting? What about this 5-block-sized asteroid? Can I tell them about this? I'll make them all pee their pants!"
"Nope, that's Sven's story, he's the space guy. You're the studies guy. You get this one."
"Ffftt. Fine. What else do I have? Weight-loss, that's interesting for everyone. Ok, people may be more likely to loose weight if there's a monetary incentive. Umm. Sure, I'd even gain weight if you'd pay me! This is that news that supposed to be on at 2 am when no one is watching!"
"Oh no, that's where we put Sven's story about the asteroid, because it's not going to hit earth. THAT'S our 2 am story. Your stories are the earth shattering studies."

Haha. My coworkers and I had a great laugh. Nevermind I didn't get to leave until almost 8 pm.