Gone Shopping

I went grocery shopping yesterday, chose Target over Wally-land for certain items. I kinda hate going shopping by myself. I mean, like, if I was to see someone with funky shoes, with whom would I snicker about it? It'd look really insane if I walked around the store going, "Did you see her shoes? No, that lady, in the plaid." "Yeah, I had to do a double take. Thought my eyes we freaking out." No, just not happening. So, I got my cart and started my great search. The one thing you have to understand about this Target. Basically, only white people go there. That makes it quiet and people scarce. But my cart, I got the one cart that everyone puts back. Wanna know why? It squeaks as it rolls. So here I go, down the kitchen appliance aisle. My cart goes "EEEK, EK, EEEEEEEK." It felt like every body was listening to me and my cart. Every eye was tuned in to me and my journey. So, I tried going slowly. The cart went, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK." That so didn't work. I tried the just-look-oblivious method. How dumb is that. Walking along, looking at stuff, people looking at me, laughing as I pass. I tried going fast. The cart went, "EEKEEKEEKEEKEEKEEKEEKEEK." I put that to an end and tried the next logical thing. But it would have been so much better with a friend. Friend could distract the person, and I could swipe their cart and switch our stuff. Then, they'd be stuck with the eeeky cart, and I could slip though Target unsnickered at. But, since I was alone, I had to be clever and find a different way to rid myself of this cart, but not so that I end up cart-less. Help came to me in the form of three empty carts stacked at the end of a toy aisle. I gathered up my meager choices, dumped them in one of the carts, and broke up my relationship with Eeeky. I was terrified that this new cart might be a sibling or close cousin to Eeeky, but my fears were put to rest when I strolled along silently. Ah, blissful quietness!